You Owe Me a Quarter

People today complain a lot about how tipping culture in the U.S. has gone berserk. Tips are now requested or expected for jobs where they previously would not have been considered, such as workers who run the cash register at carry-out food counters. Bills automatically include suggestions for high-percentage tips, and some folks report seeing suggested tips at the self checkout.

I've never had the kind of job where tips were a factor. Most of my jobs were clerical work in offices. We didn't get tips, royalties, residuals, or stock options. Nevertheless, I had a work friend (Peggy) who unintentionally came up with an innovative way to get tips.

I don't remember what department she worked in, but she was in a position where people within the company, or in branch offices, often called her with questions, and she would look up the information they needed. When the answer was helpful, they would thank her profusely, and she started joking, "You owe me a quarter."

In the joking spirit, people started sending her quarters through the interoffice mail, or they might stop by her desk and say, "Here's the quarter I owe you."

Over time, Peggy accumulated a huge collection of quarters, stored in an old water bottle that become too heavy to move. I don't know what she eventually did with the money, but I think she was saving up for a trip to Hawaii.

 

He Wants More

A unimaginably wealthy businessman has so much money, he could give a million dollars to every person in the country, and he'd still be the richest guy in the world. Yet this person wants to reduce the resources available to the rest of us. Why? Why would someone who has everything want to take away the relatively small amounts others have?

The answer is greed. Most of us can understand ordinary greed, the desire to have more than you've already got, the wish to be rich and to have fancy things. But few of us can comprehend the special type of ultra-greed that drives the oligarchs. They are NEVER satisfied. Five yachts aren't enough, if it's possible to get one that's fancier. A fleet of private jets isn't enough, if there's a chance a new one would be faster or more luxurious.

While we can, on an intellectual level, comprehend that someone might feel driven to improve upon his already excellent situation, what we can't understand is why someone who already has everything desperately wants to take the little we have away from us.

The problem with the never-satisfied, ultra-greedy oligarchs is that they don't just want a lot, they don't just want more, they want EVERYTHING. Anything you have, no matter how small, is something they don't have. They want it. This is why they don't care if we die of preventable illnesses, or starvation, or nuclear holocaust. Only if we are dead can they feel sure that we have nothing and they have everything.

As they build their doomsday bunkers, they fantasize about a world in which more than half the population is annihilated. Unfortunately for them, they need workers for a few things, so they can't quite wish for everyone but themselves to vanish.

 

Random Stuff

I'm fed up with "safety" caps that can only be opened by a magician or a contortionist. Squeeze here while twisting and pressing there. Push down while pulling up....

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Some people seem to think that any well-known abbreviation is an acronym. Actually, an acronym is an abbreviation that is also a pronounceable word (not just pronouncing the letters of the abbreviation). NATO and FODMAP are acronyms. FBI and NAACP are not.

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I am really tired of packaging that is deliberately designed so that it can't be opened, but must be destroyed.

Sometimes when I'm ripping and cutting a package, I remember an episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" where Larry complained about items that were sealed in plastic clamshells. His friend said he should use a box cutter. He bought a box cutter, but couldn't use it because it came sealed in a plastic clamshell.

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Please stop putting peanut butter in everything.

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The Mail