July 10, 2013

If the Music's Too Loud, You're Right!

Guy annoyed by loud music
In a triumph for grouchy old people everywhere, science has proven that pop music really is much worse than it used to be.

Scientific American reports that in a study of nearly half a million songs released since 1955, researchers found that, after a high point in the 1960s, creativity and variety in music have steadily declined. Music has gotten louder and louder while becoming less and less interesting.

When disgruntled baby boomers complain that today's performers all sound the same (and not very good), they are right. Thanks to the formulaic application of Auto-Tune and other homogenizing technologies, it seems that just about anyone can produce a song whose pulsating blandness guarantees success among zombified fans who can no longer differentiate between a human voice and a synthesizer.

Maybe it's time to dust off that old vinyl collection. If you don't have a turntable (or if you don't know what a turntable is), no worries. All the hits of the sixties are at our fingertips online, ready to provide instant relief from the dull conformity of all those Kesha wannabees. Rock on!

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